lately...

This phrase says it all.

These past few weeks I have been doing a lot of thinking. Thinking about all that has happened since I have been back from the mission, the changes, new experiences, joy, heartbreak, my fresh new start in DC, the things I have learned,  how I have grown, what I want in a man and just the opposite-what I don't want.

After breakups people always say "my heart hurts." I thought that was just an overused expression. I didn't know that your heart could really hurt or feel pain. And I am not trying to be dramatic but I can just say now...I have felt that.

But after all that has happened-I know that everything will work out just they way the Lord intends.

Thanks to amazing family, friends, scriptures, prayer, general conference talks and starting a new life out here in DC-what could have been hard has turned into a great, learning experience.

Every night I have had at least 1-2 people to talk to on the phone that send me nice messages like this.

Took a trip to my sisters where my nieces and nephews could give me more hugs, kisses and squeezing than I could handle.

Found a way to call and group chat with my dear friends in Brasil.

I have been listening to the general conference talks daily at work.

I have been talking to amazing friends (who have been doing all the listening...sorry guys!) and getting more insights from amazing friends who have blogs such as this-http://ldsbreakups.blogspot.com/

Here are just 6 (of many) quotes I have heard/read recently that ring true...

1. Girl I'm pretty sure he's blind!  Farias's mom
2. You cannot change the past but you can shape the future. Elder Baxter
3. Don't hyperventilate when something doesn't happen at 9am because the grace of God is trying to bless you at 9pm. Elder Holland
4. Nos so perdemos aquilo que nao e pra nos. (we only lose something that isn't for us). Pae do Batista
5. Our understanding of the Atonement is hardly a shield against sorrow; rather, it is a rich source of strength to deal productively with the disappointments and heartbreaks that form the deliberate fabric of mortal life. The gospel was given us to heal our pain, not to prevent it. Derek sent me this from Bruce C. Hafen
6. The guidance you gain in life doesn't take away your agency. Elder Scott

I have really thought about that last one. How could I feel so sure about something, we both felt the spirit so strongly and then it doesn't work out? What others have told me and what Elder Scott said in this past general conference is this---people have their own agency. And he had his.

But life is good and I am counting my blessings. Things happen for a reason and like Eyring said, we go through things to be a bit more polished in this life. I guess I can say that the Lord wanted me to be a bit more polished!